If it weren’t for graduations, we would all pass out from wherever we’re studying with heads held high, a few handshakes exchanged & remarkably underplayed emotions. There would never be a sense of loss, maybe overshadowed by the many times we hear, “We’ll keep in touch”. It’s come to a point where that line almost clichéd. But, if it weren’t for graduations, I don’t think I would ever get a sense of closure, never understand the gravity of the need to move on.
I’m thinking as much because I was a part of my seniors’ graduation this past week; to frame it more appropriately, some of my closest friends have passed out. I knew their plans, I knew where they’re heading, what they’re about to start, how often I’d be able to see them. And yet, I don’t think anyone was as happy as I was (parents are an exception). As vain as it may sound, we work our asses off for over five years for this one day. We long for the funny square hats, the unfitting robes, to have our family & friends with us, we ache for the “degree”. We want to graduate for all the people who propelled us towards this course & pulled us through. Long gone the days when the rigors of medicine made us ache for shoulders to cry on, warm hugs & an encouraging word; just a handshake today would mean the world. We’re no longer stuck in the student’s category, we’re about to tackle the world’s first few hurdles. It may come later than the rest of the world, but this for many is their first taste at independence, learning to make difficult choices.
There’s finality to this day, it signals a change of guard, roles & objectives. This helps but doesn’t overcome how you feel about moving away from your friends. It doesn’t matter even if you live in the next building or if you will later attend the same college, there’s no substitute for seeing each other daily, sharing your victories & blaming your losses on each other; you can’t replace the feeling of getting screwed as a “cohesive unit”!
So while many will rejoin the hospital to finish their remaining days of internship, it won’t be as mundane again!
I will sorely miss you all