People have been telling me since I was very small that I am crazy. I always ask, "How can I be crazy? I always listen to what I have to say and it always makes sense." But these people around me, I tell you, they're all much older than me, so I have to listen. I keep getting these urges. No, no, nothing like you are thinking. I feel like the entire world is this huge stage & I must perform. It's strange that I can hear cheers and applause when I'm alone. People around me are so boring, I think I bring excitement to them. Children I think are nicer, they always laugh & dance like I do. But, one day, while I was dancing, I don't know what happened, but my neighbor's daughter started bleeding. All I remember is shouting & screaming.
I woke up in this strange little hall with so many white beds & so many people in white, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. But these people were all so ugly, I thought they can't be angels! Turns out I was in a hospital. My mother kept telling this lady with white coat, high pants & tight ponytail that I had been "like this only" since childhood. My parents had brought me to a mad persons' hospital. I asked them, "How can I be mad? Wouldn't I know it if i was?" But, they don't ever listen to me. So, I keep sitting in this room, watching these white coats move around. Sometimes, they move so fast, they leave a streak of white light behind them, full time at full speed. I think they keep running in circles. After all, how many places could they have to go?
But, not all of them keep running. There are these few people who keep coming every morning & speak to me, asking me how I'm doing & how my mind is feeling. These people are so sweet to me. I just wish they were like that with everyone. There are these small white coats that also come that move as fast as light, I think the big coats pick on these little coats. They keep scolding and telling this and that. The small coats just keep running. Big coats tell them to bring food & write things. These poor small coats keep on listening. I think they need to dance like me to remove anger. How much can one person run? Even I used to get tired with all my dancing. But, these small coats, they run on air. Every time big coats need something, they shout out. The small coat will leave his book & come running (what a surprise!), then big coat will tell him he needs a long tube. If they need this pipe everyday, why they don't have one themselves? One day it is tube, another day it is paper. I think big coats need to run more for themselves. Maybe small coats can teach them how some day.
I think these big coats are very forgetful. They keep looking at their watch every morning. Why they keep forgetting the time? Then sometimes they shout at small coat & point at clock. The small one runs around for 10 minutes, then he just sits. Sometimes small coats are girls, they are even smaller. They keep reading big fat book, I wonder if it teaches them how to run even faster. Some days when small coats don't come, the big coat comes with a needle to take my blood. It really hurts those days. Why they don't take time & do slowly like small coats? Then, they come again with another needle on SAME day. I ask one small coat one day how much blood I have left. She just laughed & said I should not worry. How I cannot worry I ask, they never put blood in, just keep removing. This girl sleeping on the other side says these white coats are vampires & they drink our blood. I just laugh at her, because they would've bitten us directly naa? But, then again, perhaps the big coats are...