Friday, July 15, 2011

If Rajnikanth was an Intern

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  1. Rajni would never be late for rounds, rounds would be too early for Rajni
  2. Rajni would not answer to residents, it would be the other way around, "Why the hell haven't you sent this bloodwork yet?"
  3. Rajni would stand at one end of the ward & throw syringes like darts for blood collection
  4. Rajni will never say, "Sorry, I forgot". He says, "You should have reminded me, mind it!"
  5. One of Rajni's patients got a needle prick with Rajni's blood. That patient got cured of HIV
  6. Rajni does not need to wash up, his skin secretes Amikacin
  7. Rajni would never 'not find' a vein!
  8. Rajnikanth's Arterial Blood Gas sample would never turn out to be Venous
  9. Nurses would actually listen to Rajni
  10. We would not get a single admission when he is on-call
  11. Rajni once got in a fight with the e-Lab technician. Now, that technician is an MD Path cause he's scared of fucking up again
  12. Rajni never needs lead suits during X-rays
  13. Rajni does not trace reports, reports trace him
  14. Rajni will finish residency before he finishes internship
  15. Rajni signs the attendance muster for HODs
  16. Rajni can declare an OPD holiday
  17. Rajni gets urine output even he has inserted a Foley's into the cervix
  18. Rajni can make the PSM Dept admit their mistake
  19. Rajni will get attendance for interns' strike
  20. Rajni does not need to count pills in Periphery. How many ever pills fit into his hand is the right number
  21. Rajni never has to wait for the lift in the hospital
  22. Rajni can put an IV in the Dorsal Vein
  23. When Rajnikanth doesn't want to be disturbed, he switches off the residents' phones
  24. Rajnikanth can cross-match blood looking at its colour
  25. Rajnikanth can get a CBC done from a Plain Bulb
  26. Rajnikanth knows who Peter Roberts is


  1. Putting an IV in the dorsal vein is easy, in a cooperative patient of course
    and come on, most of the others are not 'Rajni worthy' tasks.

  2. haha, hilarious!
    @mkk: Rajni ko bhi to internship karni padegi naa? I wonder what type of resident he will be!
    Btw, why dorsal vein?!