If Rajnikanth was an Intern

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1. Rajni would never be late for rounds, rounds would be too early for Rajni
2. Rajni would not answer to residents, it would be the other way around, "Why the hell haven't you sent this bloodwork yet?"
3. Rajni would stand at one end of the ward & throw syringes like darts for blood collection
4. Rajni will never say, "Sorry, I forgot". He says, "You should have reminded me, mind it!"
5. One of Rajni's patients got a needle prick with Rajni's blood. That patient got cured of HIV
6. Rajni does not need to wash up, his skin secretes Amikacin
7. Rajni would never 'not find' a vein!
8. Rajnikanth's Arterial Blood Gas sample would never turn out to be Venous
9. Nurses would actually listen to Rajni
10. We would not get a single admission when he is on-call
11. Rajni once got in a fight with the e-Lab technician. Now, that technician is an MD Path cause he's scared of fucking up again
12. Rajni never needs lead suits during X-rays
13. Rajni does not trace reports, reports trace him
14. Rajni will finish residency before he finishes internship
15. Rajni signs the attendance muster for HODs
16. Rajni can declare an OPD holiday
17. Rajni gets urine output even he has inserted a Foley's into the cervix
18. Rajni can make the PSM Dept admit their mistake
19. Rajni will get attendance for interns' strike
20. Rajni does not need to count pills in Periphery. How many ever pills fit into his hand is the right number
21. Rajni never has to wait for the lift in the hospital
22. Rajni can put an IV in the Dorsal Vein
23. When Rajnikanth doesn't want to be disturbed, he switches off the residents' phones
24. Rajnikanth can cross-match blood looking at its colour
25. Rajnikanth can get a CBC done from a Plain Bulb
26. Rajnikanth knows who Peter Roberts is