Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Good Resident, Bad Resident

Ever seen an old American movie about cops or even a bad recent one? There's usually a scene where the protagonist is taken into police custody, made to sit alone in a room for ages with the police watching him/her through a one-way mirror. With a loud bang, the door opens and two policemen walk in. One invariably looks better than the other, cause the latter looks like a rabid dog! The decent looking chap starts asking the questions, explaining how it'd be nice if they'd cooperate. Every now and again, the mean cop would shout, scream & finally threaten. The hapless convict feels safer with the decent cop & eventually does what he says, even though that isn't in his best interest. This entire charade is called the "Good Cop, Bad Cop" routine. Neither one of the cops is actually good (at least in the movie), and they pull this off in unison after having discussed how the interrogation should play out. The entire idea revolves around the fact that when you're in a fix, you take whatever help you get, whoever you get it from! Hey, at least it's not the cheesy third degree that you find in Indian movies!

Now imagine this entire scenario with an intern in the midst of a lot of residents. Incredibly bad residents are  generally difficult to find. Those that fall in the gray zone are a dime a dozen! Off late, I've kinda been a magnet for the most ghastly ones. Most of the times, these 'gray' and 'dark black' residents move around in packs, with an obvious pack leader. Now, I could've used a more glamorous metaphor like a "pride" of bad residents (like the lion) or even the modest term "herd", but I was too lazy to google what a group of Hyenas is! But, there's no better comparison out there; hyenas are cunning, generally disliked, move around in groups that seem strong, but the moment one is alone, they're easy to kill! 
You can learn more about hyena behavior here: (And just for fun, let's imagine I'm Mufasa)

What did you expect? The Discovery Channel?

So, it was a few weeks back that I realized one of the residents who I trusted turned out to be this other asshole's personal bitch! Imagine the shock and surprise! Turns out she was nice to us to get us to open up about everything that's going on, only to go squeal on us to her seniors. So, did you get the "Good Cop, Bad Cop" analogy? It's like being conned in your own backyard! 
Imagine how low one needs to be to actually get into an argument about when I could take a holiday because I wasn't feeling well! I'll take it whenever I damn well please, fucker! You've already dictated a lotta crap to me, but you're not gonna dictate my damn biology!

I recently borrowed my friend's copy of The Shawshank Redemption Screenplay. Easy to say I was bored to bits, but it kinda gave me an idea for my next post. You'll know what I'm talking about when you see it.

DISCLAIMER: To my actual friends who are pursuing residency (old ones as well as recent), I sincerely  have great respect for the work you all do & am in no way trying to take a jab at you. But, just like you sometimes come across bad interns, I've come across some bad residents. If you'd like to share bad intern stories (stories about bad interns, not bad stories about interns!), write to me or comment here. I'd love to have you as a guest blogger with the tables turned!

FYI: A group of hyenas is called a cackle!


  1. Just got relieved by my 'cackle'. Finally.

  2. Where's my comment gone?
    I love the lion king video too!

  3. Here's what was in my earlier comment:

    I love, love, love the comparison to hyenas! This post is like the perfect analysis of a resident's psyche.

    Most of them aren't bad people, they're just blinded by the whole mentality of "extract as much work from juniors as possible, even though it's my job not theirs" and can't see beyond that in their dealings with an intern. A lesser number suffer from the syndrome of "let me humiliate and poke fun at my juniors every opportunity I can, so I'll get some entertainment in my otherwise very boring life". The latter are the ones most difficult to deal with.